Overcome Imposter Syndrome, Stop Feeling Like a Phony, and Reclaim Your Worth Using These 10 Tips!

What do you do when Imposter Syndrome creeps in?

Let’s start with what is Imposter Syndrome? According to www.verywellmind.com Impostor syndrome refers to an internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. While this definition is usually narrowly applied to intelligence and achievement, it has links to perfectionism and the social context.

To put it simply, imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like a phony—you feel as though at any moment you are going to be found out as a fraud—like you don't belong where you are, and you only got there through dumb luck. It can affect anyone no matter their social status, work background, skill level, or degree of expertise.

Here is the reality, it can happen to any of us at any given time.  So what do you do when you feel imposter syndrome creeping into your mind? 

You could try to “prove” you are worthy of the job, the title, the grade, the love, by working extra hard and doing even more than expected on a project or in relationships.  but honestly, that does nothing to combat the mindset that you aren’t really worthy of it.  It will just exhaust you. Or Prove your knowledge and alienate those you are trying to fit in with … (like the Rookie FF I mention in the podcast) 

Instead, you might want to try these as suggested as shared from verywellmind.com along with my added thoughts in italics: 

1. Share your feelings. Talk to other people about how you are feeling. These irrational beliefs tend to fester when they are hidden and not talked about.  Especially if you have trusted friends who are entrepreneurs there is a good chance they have felt it too! They will probably remind you of why you are amazing and totally  NOT an imposter :) 

2. Focus on others. While this might feel counterintuitive, try to help others in the same situation as you. If you see someone who seems awkward or alone, ask that person a question to bring them into the group. As you practice your skills, you will build confidence in your own abilities. Approaching anything being others focused is always a cure for our insecurities! Shine the light on others and you won’t be self-conscious about your own needs. 

3. Assess your abilities. If you have long-held beliefs about your incompetence in social and performance situations, make a realistic assessment of your abilities. Write down your accomplishments and what you are good at, and compare that with your self-assessment. Write down your past achievements, your wins, times when you totally rocked it out. If you’ve done the StrengthsFinders Assessment this might be a good time to review your Top 10. 

4. Take baby steps. Don't focus on doing things perfectly, but rather, do things reasonably well and reward yourself for taking action. For example, in a group conversation, offer an opinion or share a story about yourself.  Don’t try to prove yourself - just add to the conversation in a normal way.  

5. Question your thoughts. As you start to assess your abilities and take baby steps, question whether your thoughts are rational. Does it make sense that you are a fraud, given everything that you know?   Do you think this because of what someone else has said?? 1 comment can throw us into a downward spiral! Who was that person?? Why let them have power over you? 

6. Stop comparing. Every time you compare yourself to others in a social situation, you will find some fault with yourself that fuels the feeling of not being good enough or not belonging. Instead, during conversations, focus on listening to what the other person is saying. Be genuinely interested in learning more.    People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Have you ever left a conversation with a new person and thought how amazing they were - what you later realized is they barely talked, but instead let you talk and they actively listened - learn to be that person! 

7. Use social media moderately. We know that the overuse of social media may be related to feelings of inferiority. If you try to portray an image on social media that doesn't match who you really are or that is impossible to achieve, it will only make your feelings of being a fraud worse.   Sign off for a few days if you have to - or hide people - I’ve had to hide my friends when they were doing better than me in network marketing.  (I told them this as we were still friends in real life!) Remember, you are comparing your behind-the-scenes and bloopers to someone else's highlight reel. 

8. Stop fighting your feelings. Don't fight the feelings of not belonging. Instead, try to lean into them and accept them. It's only when you acknowledge them that you can start to unravel those core beliefs that are holding you back.  This might be a good time to reach out to a trusted friend or coach and talk it through. 

9. Refuse to let it hold you back. No matter how much you feel like you don't belong, don't let that stop you from pursuing your goals. Keep going and refuse to be stopped. Remember, it can happen to all of us occasionally - even extremely successful people so it’s normal! Just don’t stay there and let it overwhelm you!

10. Remember - God made you with unique gifts & talents and with some quirks & flaws.  Together they make up YOU, and the world needs YOU to share your gifts and talents - there are people out there who will be your people and love you even more because of your quirks and flaws.  Embrace it all! BUT most importantly remember You Are Enough!